Elevate Your Conversations with the Power of MetaSkills™
Did you know the attitudes you bring into a conversation can shape its outcome? That’s the magic of MetaSkills™—intentional stances that transform relationships and create meaningful connections.
When you choose a MetaSkill™, you create a space where trust, clarity, and collaboration can thrive.
Why Intentionality Matters
Since I started working with relationships and teams I’ve been fascinated by the transformative power of MetaSkills™.
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to dive into meetings and conversations without considering the atmosphere we’re creating. MetaSkills™—the intentional attitudes and stances we bring to interactions—can transform the dynamics of any relationship. By intentionally choosing one or two MetaSkills™ before entering a conversation or meeting, you can set the tone for trust, creativity, and success.
We are always creating an emotional field, whether consciously or unconsciously. Every interaction is shaped by the emotional climate we bring to it. As leaders and relationship-builders, MetaSkills™ empower us to create this climate intentionally, fostering spaces where collaboration and understanding can thrive.
Think of MetaSkills™ as lenses that shape how we view and engage with the world. They influence not only what we do but how we do it.
The Seven Foundational MetaSkills™
While there are countless MetaSkills™, years of work with Realations and Systems show that these seven form the foundation for meaningful and productive relationships:
Heart / Intimacy ❤️
Open yourself to connection and embrace the full spectrum of experiences—from challenges to joys. The path of heart is about consciously opening to other and removing obstacles to connection with other and self. It is the willingness to be moved and touched by another. It is about being deeply connected to oneself.Commitment 🤝
Show up fully, honor agreements, and set clear boundaries that build trust and accountability. This MetaSkill™ acknowledges the agreement to a relationship contract. It defines the boundaries of your relationship for yourself as well as for the world at large. Accountability is an important component of commitment.Respect 🌟
Recognize the inherent dignity and worth of yourself and others, holding everyone as creative, resourceful, and whole. Defined as “to consider someone to be deserving of high regard,” — in Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. Respect implies that I am in right relationship with myself as well as with other. Respect is the attitude of positive regard with which I hold my whole self, and my willingness to do the same with and for you. Respect is a prerequisite for constructive conflict.Inquiry/Awareness 🔍
Approach interactions with curiosity and openness, letting go of attachment to outcomes and exploring possibilities. Through the practice of inquiry, you arrive at a new awareness. It is based in a life philosophy of expansiveness rather than contraction. It has a quality of fluidity. It is based in the trust that there is a wisdom aspect to all experience. The emotional climate of this is genuine curiosity and excitement.Deep Democracy/Diversity 🌍
Welcome all voices—including unpopular ones—to enrich perspectives and create a more inclusive and dynamic space. This is the stance of believing that all the varying voices and aspects of self, other, and relationship must be heard for the full potential of the relationship to be represented. It celebrates that the diversity of opinion and beliefs can expand the relationship, and so the individuals within it. The “feel” of it is that of “the-sum-is-greater-than-its-parts.”Collaboration/Partnership 🤲
Foster synergy by co-creating solutions and working as a team to forward shared goals. This is the atmosphere within which the synergistic dance of relationship occurs. Out of this, “we” is born and evolves through working with the strengths and vulnerabilities of all partners. The “feel” of it is synergistic, cooperative, and being on the same team.Playfulness 🎭
Bring humor and lightness to interactions, encouraging creativity and reducing tension. It involves the ability to laugh at oneself and is an invitation to get over the “significance” of any given situation. It is the attitude of ultimate creativity inviting childlike innocence in discovery. It colors the world with joy.
Inquiry / Awareness - Credit: Justin Peterson
How to Use MetaSkills™ Intentionally
Before your next conversation or meeting, take a moment to reflect:
What is the purpose of this interaction?
If you’re building trust, lean into Respect. For solving complex problems, choose Inquiry/Awareness or Collaboration.What emotional climate do I want to create?
For inclusivity, adopt Deep Democracy. To energize the room, bring Playfulness.
When working with teams going through change, walking the MetaSkills™ Wheel can be a powerful exercise. Ask:
Which MetaSkills™ can support you in working effectively as a team?
Which MetaSkills™ are you already excelling at?
Which MetaSkills™ are challenging? How can your strengths help you navigate these challenges?
Expanding the Possibilities: Other MetaSkills™
MetaSkills™ are endlessly versatile. Beyond the foundational seven, here are a few others to explore:
Patience
Embrace the pace of the process and resist the urge to rush outcomes, fostering calm and persistence.
Courage
Stand firmly in the face of discomfort or conflict, creating space for honest and vulnerable conversations.
Empathy
Deeply feel and understand the emotions of others, creating connection and mutual respect.
Optimism
Approach challenges with a hopeful and positive mindset, inspiring resilience and innovation.
Accountability
Take responsibility for your actions and outcomes, modeling trustworthiness and integrity.
Wisdom
Draw from past experiences and deep reflection to guide thoughtful decisions.
Flexibility
Adapt to shifting dynamics with grace, ensuring relationships remain strong through change.
The Ripple Effect of MetaSkills™
When we bring intentionality to our MetaSkills™, we set a powerful example for others. Teams, clients, and partners begin to notice the difference in how they feel during and after their interactions with us. The emotional climate becomes a space for connection, creativity, and growth, unlocking the full potential of relationships.
Imagine starting every meeting with intention, where the emotional field fosters clarity, trust, and collaboration. What MetaSkill™ will you choose to bring to your next conversation? Which of the foundational or expanded MetaSkills™ resonates most with you?
MetaSkills™ are articulated by ORSC - Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching.
